When I am listened to...

How do I feel when I am listened to? Since my love language is focused attention, my love tank requires being listened to. Having someone take time out of their far too busy day to listen to me is like therapy. I have a few friends who are consummate experts at this. Anni listens with such gentility it brings out my fragility and I often feeling like crying in response to how powerful, calming, engulfing love that comes through her voice, eyes and fathomless heart. Janice listens to me as a sounding board, offering a listening ear, but often advice and rarely comfort. Yet I know she loves me deeply. Marsha listens to me with a pastoral heart, looking out for my good especially when I have chosen to ignore the red flags within me. Marsha puts a spotlight on the cautions and concerns she feels for me and gently guides me away from the precipice. My husband struggles to really listen to me without trying to fix things, so I don’t tell him a lot of things that trouble me. I kind of protect him from having to carry that part of me. Being listened to is like filling up my soul’s gas tank with love and approval. I guess when I am really listened to I feel validate, valued and victorious. When I am not listened to I wilt and shrink and wither. If I did not have so many listeners in this class these four weeks would be insufferable for my psyche. Anni share about the spotlight of caring when helping someone through a crisis. Don’t say I know how you feel, don’t tell them you correlating story, but keep the spotlight of caring on him or her and be an active listener, sometimes giving words for them to choose from if they are having trouble expressing their feelings, thoughts, angst. People say such thoughtlessly hurtful things at funerals and turn the spotlight of caring on themselves, really, because they feel awkward and don’t’ know what to say. Just listen to the person, or say I am so sorry, and just hug them. Words for us are for later, for know the griever just needs to know she/he is not alone, we care, we love and we carry his/her heart in our loving hands. What a gift to give some else-to truly, fully listen and not give answers, advice, lift and eyebrow, roll the eyes, sight, interrupt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But just listen and hold their heart in your hands.